Coping With Germaphobia

I think all New Yorkers can think of at least one time they've been on a cramped subway with some inconsiderate ass who refuses to cover their mouth while belching out a really wet germy cough. Or you catch the whiff of someone's awful coffee breath as they yawn, hand covering be damned, and blow a hot column of feces scented rhinovirus directly at your face. Ever walk behind someone, smell the Halls in their mouth and realize that you could be in the midst of a germwake of strep? It's gross for everyone, but to a germaphobe it's highly stressful and can easily induce panic.

While I consider myself "germ aware," my wife is a total germaphobe. I don't get the same level of anxiety she does but I will do my best to avoid exposure to sick people if I realize they are sick. My wife considers everyone sick until proven healthy and does whatever it takes to avoid exposure to their germs; including abandoning a full shopping cart at the grocery store (it has happened). The common definition of a phobia is a persistent and irrational fear of something. In my opinion, my wife's fear isn't completely irrational because she does get colds very easily. Her reactions can sometimes be slightly irrational, however. My intent in writing my opinion on this is to give some insight into how some germaphobes think and hopefully explain some of the behavior that some may find neurotic or annoying.

I wasn't always as aware as I am today, I got it from my wife. My wife was brought up to fear germs and avoid dirt; her house was always immaculately clean. Even though my mom kept the house very clean, she wasn't as concerned about microbes the way my wife's was. Therefore, I grew up not really caring as much about germs and she did. When I met her, I understood immediately when I noticed her blatant Purell abuse (oh and she told me flat out that she was a germaphobe). I became germ-aware to help ease her anxieties and she has always been very appreciative.

It's important to visualize Germaphobia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Claustrophobia as somewhat linked. Here are some things that most everyone finds annoying or gross, but for a germaphobe it's a hypersensitive visceral disgust:

- Not covering your mouth when you cough, sneeze, or yawn.
It is appalling how many people are guilty of this. There are different types of coughs and germaphobes know the difference. It's pretty easy to tell the difference between benign throat clearing coughs and wet, belchy, flu coughs.

- Licking your fingers after eating something.
This is a bad idea if you want to avoid getting a cold. Not to mention, the noise that accompanies it is always vile. *SMACK**SLURP*

- Smelling someone's breath (foul or fresh doesn't really matter).
Yeah, gross.

- Failure to use soap while washing your hands.
We all know someone who just does a quick water rinse after using the lavatory.

- Touching your own face without washing your hands first. Another great way of introducing microbes to your mucus membranes.

- Being too close to other people who may breath on them.
Close proximity can cause claustrophobia, bowel discomfort, and mild to moderate death.

- When someone spits while they talk and it lands on them.
Yet another great way of transferring germs to others that the spitter rarely realizes.

- Active cold sores
Please keep the monthly evidence of your past indiscretions to yourself.

- Poor ventilation
This is a major source of anxiety because as we all know rebreathing spreads death, disease, and polio.

In addition to some of the things listed above, my wife has a couple of things that really panic her; raw chicken, raw beef, and public transportation. The things that skeeve me out the most are the grip poles in the subway, public doorknobs, public keyboards, and public restrooms. While our collective germaphobia is not life consuming, it definitely plays a major role in shaping our outlook on situations.

Finding a line to checkout at the grocery store is always difficult. One time, someone in front of us put chicken on the conveyor belt and the packages were leaking. This left big chicken blood puddles on the spinning conveyor belt which, much like herpes, came back periodically to spread joy. My wife, of course, picked this out and we picked a different (longer) line to wait on despite the woman imploring us to come over to her open aisle. One of the things we do when we buy meat is to take those plastic bags from the produce aisle and cover the meat with them so they are double bagged.

I feel that her avoidance of germs is partly beneficial and partly harmful. Purell detractors are all very quick to point out that they leave supergerms behind on your skin. I think, worse than that, is that it by killing all the germs first, it doesn't give your immune system enough of a work out. So it languishes and then when you finally get a cold, it's a doozy. This seems to be the case with my wife, she rarely gets sick but when she does it's always a really bad cold. This, in turn, leads to more fervent germaphobia. I don't seem to have the same problem. I only get a cold every few years and it's usually not that bad at all.

What really helped me avoid getting sick is to wash my hands every time I came into the house. Maybe I'm exposed to enough germs to keep my immune system working well but not enough to actually get sick? I get coughed on and sneezed on enough. Before I met my wife, I got a cold almost every six months as if it were clockwork. Now, the only time I really get colds is when she has a cold and I am exposed to it for a long enough time.

My general opinion is that there is a frightening lack of regard when it comes to spreading germs. Nine out of ten sick people I see have little to no cares about those around them. They still go about their normal lives, going to work, taking public transportation, going shopping, etc. I understand being in a drug store pharmacy and being sick. That's neutral territory and healthy people typically don't hang out there. What I don't understand is going shopping in the drug store for other crap instead of taking your drugs and going home to sleep it off.

Hopefully this gives a little insight into the minds of two germ fearing weirdos. We're really not crazy, we just don't want to share in your discomfort. And please, don't get upset if you sit next to someone and they pull their shirt up over their nose and mouth. It's nothing personal; you're probably just too close (or you smell).